Fulton has been out of the hospital and back to the nursing home for a couple of weeks now. That’s so encouraging! Yet his traumatic experience has profoundly impacted me. It was a long 6 weeks in the hospital. I still start to panic when the phone rings. I get much the same feelings and fears that I do not welcome.
For example, last week my wife, Ruth Hill, came back from the nursing home with troubling news. Fulton had a 100° temperature again with an intense pain in his intestines. I immediately said to the Lord, “Lord, I can’t go through this again. There’s only so much I have in the tank.” No longer had I said that prayer when I sensed the Lord speaking to me. He brought to mind a verse from Jeremiah that said, “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?” (Jeremiah 12:5)
God has been so gracious and kind to me through these trials, yet sometimes he responds to me with a gentle rebuke. If the children of Israel couldn’t be strong at easier trials; how would they do when more intense ones come? I thanked Him for challenging me with my faithlessness. I’m committed to trust Him no matter what happens, through His great strength.
Fulton’s doing fine. Just a few hours after my little scare and panic, everything settled down. May God help us to be strong, even when old feelings and fears block our commitment to trust Him no matter.